It's that time again...

Yup, it's time for that monthly flare! The one that signals my time of the month, is worse than all others, undoes all progress of the entire month, puts me in a pit of depression, and reminds me that my TSW is far from over. My face was doing so, so well and was almost perfectly clear for 3 blissful weeks. Then, it just exploded into a red, blotchy, raised rash, itchy mess, completely different from all of the flare ups I've had before. It could've been a real allergic reaction, but it's hard to say because now I am oozing from my chest and shoulders again. And, my period is due soon so that could explain it. I'm just praying that the oozing doesn't get worse and the flare won't last long. Sigh. It completely sucks when you see so much progress and you're just getting back into normality when everything just reverses itself.

Hope you're all hanging in there, let's see what happens!

Great...

Kind of indulged and had a hamburger, fries, and a soda. Now, the whole area around my mouth is red and my face is splotchy. Sigh....what a bad idea....

Burning red

My chest and arms are quite dry, red and burning today. Not to mention painful! It feels as if every time I move my arms I can just feel all the rough, dry skin shifting and it stings :( Hopefully this flare dies down in the next couple of days. Sigh. My face is doing well though!

Mini-flare

I believe I'm flaring now, the one that usually comes before my time of the month as usual. I'm finding it to be quite tolerable, just a bit redder and drier than usual. There is a tiny wet patch on my shoulder but my time-of-the-month flares are usually WAY worse. My face is the least affected out of all the areas, no swelling and only a bit pink.

Here, you can kind of see the pink patchy area that stops below my neck and continues to my normal back skin:

Arms:

Right wrist:

The patches on my arms and back of neck/shoulders are slowly merging and spreading to form solid red...D: But, my face is getting better and better and no longer having major flares! That's fine with me, for now, because the other areas can simply be covered up with a long sleeve tee. Hope you're all doing well!

Half way through month 6!

So far, things are going pretty well! My face has gotten WAY better. I think I might be mini-flaring today because my face is a bit pinker than usual, but it is NOTHING compared to a month ago. They really are correct when they say flares get less and less intense! My skin is still super dry and flaky, but my Aveeno usually does the trick. The itch is still crazy at night, and my sleeping schedule is still messed up, but I am just so relieved that my face is getting better. Time to show people that I can actually look normal after 6 months of red skin, swollen face, and crazy triple eyelids. Ugh.

I have noticed that I get the most itchy around certain nerves and veins, such as my inner arms, back of the knees, neck, armpit area. If I'm correct, this is where some major arteries and veins lie. Perhaps it has something to do with cortisol levels? Or maybe the histamine flowing through my blood? I would really love to study this in college in hopes of someday finding more clear answers to our predicament, but I'm daunted by the amount of studying I'd have to do to enter the medical field. Plus, independent research is hard to do. I'm planning to major in some sort of science, so hopefully I can figure out my path from there. I think that enough people have suffered this hard that something HAS to be done. No one on earth should have to go through this....it's really comparable to a devised torture method. The only thing that kept me sane was knowing that it would be over in 1-2 years. If healing time would be, say, 5 years, I honestly don't know if I would be able to do it.

I hope you all see progress soon! It is truly the best feeling.

Update

Hey everyone! After my last flare, which lasted around a week or so, my skin has returned to a stable calm period. My face is way less red and swollen, in fact when I wake up in the morning it is white and pale! It gets redder after I wake up as I start to move around, though. My neck, shoulders and chest are still itchy as usual but are less red and have not been oozing. My arms are also getting less red, but they are very dry and flaky. I even went back to ballet class yesterday because I was feeling so much better! I looked like I was a bit sunburned, but nothing more than that :). Insomnia is still an issue for me, falling asleep at around 9 AM and waking up around 2-3 PM. Today was a good day though, as I fell asleep around 3 AM and woke up at 12 PM. Maybe because I had exercise last night and was tired out? Or maybe yesterday I woke myself up at 9 AM and refused to go back to sleep, regulating my schedule a bit? Ah, who knows. Overall, I'm feeling WAY better and am healing bit by bit. I wish I could go back in time around 1-2 months ago when I was at my worst and say, "Hey! This is you in around 1-2 months. You are getting better."

Feeling a bit depressed

Currently still in the middle of a flare and have been feeling down. Last night, I got into bed around 1 AM as I knew that going to bed earlier would just result in me lying awake and scratching like crazy. I tossed and turned the whole night, as usual, and I may have slept a bit but it's all a blur to me now. I finally fell into a true sleep at 9 AM and woke up around 3:30 PM! I didn't really have the will to get up because I was so dry and stiff and my shoulders were damp and cracked with ooze. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and I finally got up just as my mom was coming home from work. This could be the latest I've ever woken up, and the whole thing just bums me out.

Even though I'm definitely not a morning person, I like having order to my day and eating a set breakfast in the morning. Waking up late just makes me feel so unproductive because I have quite a bit of summer work and college things to worry about. Also, I feel quite down having to stay inside all day because of my appearance. My dance summer school starts next week, but I'm pretty certain my skin just won't be well enough to go. I haven't been to dance class in about 2 months since I quit for the time being in May, and I miss it a lot. Being cooped up inside and having no motivation to do anything really sucks :(.

Tomorrow, I will force myself to be up by at least 12 PM. Wishing you all the best.

Into Month 6!

I am officially entering month 6th today! But bad news is I've also entered another flare. Well, that was a wonderful break! But I guess it's back to work for my skin. Chest and neck started oozing again which is agonizing at night, and eyelids swelling as well. Everything's the usual dry and flaky, and I continue to have to dust flakes off my bed every 10 minutes at night. Getting on average 2-3 hours of sleep at night when I have to wake up early to go some place, but on the usual summer days where I just stay home I fall asleep around 9 AM and sometimes even go till 3 or 4! My arms, although they seem less red than a month ago, have been SUPER itchy each day. Sigh.

I truly hope that by the end of this summer I'll be done with the worst of TSW. Or, at least have milder flares than I do now. In the beginning, I truly thought that I was going to be healed at 6th months because I started out with very mild symptoms, but now I realize that everyone else was right and that it probably isn't going to happen. I know now that in reality it will take me 1-2 years to be completely back to normal, and I'm okay with that. I'm glad that I have finally found a reason for my spreading eczema and won't live the rest of my life trapped by topical steroids. And, I had a taste of beautiful, white skin on my face last week so I know that it will return to that eventually! Let's keep on trucking, everyone!